ABBY: Hello, Dan.
ABBY: How are you?
ABBY: Do you want to close the door?
DAN: Actually, I don't think we need to have a session today.
DAN: I'm not saying we're done completely, I just don't think we need to have a session this week.
DAN: All right then. I'm just gonna go.
DAN: And I'll see you next week.
ABBY: Sounds good.
ABBY: What time you got there?
Flashback: Quick close up on one of the televisions in the news room where an announcer is describing a new world record.
ANNOUNCER: I don't believe it! 29 feet, 8 1/4!
ABBY: I said what time you got?
DAN: 29, 8 1/4.
DAN: I'm sorry. Um, 5 after 10:00.
ABBY: Shouldn't we get started?
DAN: No. I'm not kidding.
DAN: I don't know why you don't ever believe me when I say I'm happy.
ABBY: What's 29, 8 1/4?
Flashback: Immediately after the previous flashback, the series regulars cheer at the new world record announcement.
DAN: It's a thing that happened last night.
DAN: Believe it or not, Abby, I'm not allowed to tell you.
ABBY: You're not allowed to tell me?
ABBY: By law?
DAN: It involves the result of a sporting event that was tape-delayed -- happened in the middle of last night in Auckland, New Zealand, and my network's airing it tonight in prime time, and they get a little touchy about it.
ABBY: I get it.
DAN: You know, it was the same thing in Nagano, Japan, so you know how it is.
ABBY: You wanna close the door and sit down?
DAN: Nah. I'm, uh, I'm gonna head to the office.
DAN: You know, the interesting thing is that at the beginning of the week, I really couldn't have cared less about this story. I normally don't get that excited about track and field. I mean, I admire the athleticism and everything, but, for me, there needs to be an opponent.
ABBY: You seem to get excited about it on tv.
DAN: Well, that's my job. When it's showtime, it's showtime.
Flashback: Preparing to go on air.
DAVE: Roll VTR.
WILL: 60 seconds live.
CHRIS: Stand by, four, five, and six.
DAVE: Stand by, animation.
DANA: Where's Dan?
NATALIE (into mic): Danny! Showtime!
DAN: Jeremy, let's go.
JEREMY: Yeah, I'll be right there.
(Jeremy waits expectantly, groans in disappointment and walks to control room)
NATALIE: Preview Denver. Uh, get me Brett in L.A.
Jeremy enters the control room.
WILL: Denver's up.
DANA: Jeremy, what's in that computer you're waiting for?
DANA: You've been checking your email all day.
NATALIE: Chris, show me Auckland.
JEREMY: I'm waiting for a letter from my sister.
DAVE: 30 seconds live.
CHRIS: Auckland's up.
NATALIE: Can you hear me, Oscar?
OSCAR (on the monitor): Is that Natalie?
NATALIE: It's Natalie stateside. How you doin'?
OSCAR: I'm doing ok.
NATALIE: Just ok?
OSCAR: I'm a little nervous.
NATALIE: You jump better than you talk?
OSCAR: I do almost everything better than I talk, Natalie.
NATALIE: One of these days, you're gonna have to come up here and prove that to me, Oscar.
ELLIOT: 10 seconds live.
CASEY: You really can't get excited about this?
DAN: A guy jumping far into a pit of sand?
CASEY: Ah, he's gonna set a new world record, you know--
CASEY: 29' 5", if I'm any judge in the art of the long jump.
DAN: You're not.
DAVE: In 3, 2...
DAN: Good evening. From New York City, I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. Those stories plus the T-wolves go hunting in Motor City, the Sharks get jiggy in San Jose and, yes, we've got a Shaq attack in Hackensack.
CASEY: We'll take you to Auckland, New Zealand, where Oscar Parrish is poised to demonstrate that what jumps up may not come down for an awfully long time. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, stick around.
DAVE: We're out.
CASEY: Now, Oscar, you've had a decade's worth of bad luck. You were set to win the gold medal at the world championships in Berlin, and you tore and ACL in the preliminaries. We all knew you were gonna break the record in Atlanta, and, of course, the death of your father on the eve of the games kept you out of the competition. So let me ask you a stupid question: how much does all that add to the pressure on you?
OSCAR: Well, there's plenty of pressure. You know, all I've done since I was 14 years old is try to jump a quarter-inch farther. I'm 33 now and my legs stopped getting stronger a few years ago.
CASEY: Is it fair to say this is your last chance to set a record?
OSCAR: Yeah, this is the ballgame.
CASEY: You've got a lot of people here rooting for you, Oscar. Go strap those wings on your feet and knock us dead.
OSCAR: I'll do my best.
CASEY: Oscar Parrish from the Millennial Games.
DAN: A reminder from our promo department: you can catch all the action from Auckland during CSC's prime-time coverage of the Millennial Games, live on tape delay -- I swear to God it says that: live on tape delay -- tomorrow night at 8:00. We'll be back and better than ever with all the highlights at 11:00. For Casey McCall, I'm Dan Rydell. You've been watching Sports Night on CSC. We'll see you tomorrow.
ABBY: I actually know this one. Mike Powell's got the long jump record.
DAN: 29 feet, 4 inches.
ABBY: You're not impressed?
DAN: Do you know whose record he broke?
DAN: Then I'm not impressed.
So, the world has to wait 'til tonight to find out if your guy did it?
DAN: Oscar Parrish.
DAN: Not the whole world, just this half of it.
ABBY: You already know.
ABBY: You get it by teletype?
ABBY: That's not what they call it?
DAN: That's what they called it in Citizen Kane, but there's been significant communications technology progress since then. We have live satellite feeds now.
ABBY: Weren't you leaving?
ABBY: 'Cause you're feeling good.
DAN: Believe me, don't believe me.
DAN: You know, we're having a perfectly fun conversation, you gotta go and put your stethoscope on.
ABBY: The meter's running.
DAN: No, the meter's not running. This wasn't an appointment.
ABBY: 24 hours notice, Danny. I gotta earn a living.
DAN: Well, that's a bit of a turn off.
ABBY: Believe me when I tell you the last thing I'm trying to do is turn you on.
DAN: Well, change whatever it is you're doing 'cause--
ABBY: I'll see you next week.
DAN: Say, speaking of being turned on -- this'll just take a second since you know the cast of characters. Jeremy's in love with an adult-film actress.
ABBY: A porn star?
DAN: I believe they prefer to be called "adult-film actress."
ABBY: You think it's his reaction to his breakup with Natalie?
DAN: It's Jeremy and a porn star, Abby. Of course it's a reaction to his breakup with Natalie.
ABBY: I, I'm interested in this. If I hadn't gone to medical school, I was thinking of being a porn star. How long they been dating?
DAN: It's not entirely clear on whether or not they are dating. Last time I saw Jeremy, he was heading out into a rainstorm.
CASEY: Kim, come on.
KIM: Track and field at 2:00 in the morning?
CASEY: Elliot, where's your spirit?
ELLIOT: It goes home with me at midnight when I'm done with work.
CASEY: I'll order food.
KIM: What kind of food?
CASEY: What kind of food do you want?
CASEY: Mexican it is.
KIM: And Chinese.
CASEY: What the hell?
KIM: I like to mix them.
CASEY: Okey-doke, what the hell. Elliot, there's gonna be Mexican food and Chinese food.
ELLIOT: I'm kinda in the mood for deli.
CASEY: Mexican food, Chinese food, and food from a delicatessen.
ELLIOT: I'm there.
CASEY: Outstanding. Jeremy.
CASEY: I am organizing a late night posse to watch Oscar break the record.
JEREMY: What kind of food?
CASEY: You know, I'm getting kind of tired of having to bribe people with food. I'm not doing that anymore.
CASEY: You got it.
JEREMY: Thank you.
CASEY: What's with the umbrella?
JEREMY: It's gonna rain tonight.
CASEY: No, it's not.
JEREMY: It really is.
CASEY: No, QXR said overnight lows in the 50s and less than 10% chance of precipitation.
JEREMY: No, this time of year, there's a low pressure system that moves down from Newfoundland. Ordinarily, it moves out to sea once it hits Northern New England, but there's a particularly unusual Atlantic cold front that's gonna keep it coastally contained.
CASEY: So you're saying it's gonna rain tonight?
CASEY: Good to know. (leaves)
DANA: Why don't I go to church?
DANA: I don't know. I never have.
ISAAC: You used to.
DANA: Well, once in a while, when I was a kid. Why are you asking me?
ISAAC: I don't know. I've just always thought you'd like it.
DANA: Am I in need of something?
ISAAC: I was just asking.
DANA: I'm totally... I mean... the... I have absolutely nothing to say.
ISAAC: Then I'll just count my blessings.
DANA: I have work to do now.
DANA: And what with being spiritually bereft--
ISAAC: I just brought it up.
DANA: I'm a hot young single woman in New York.
ISAAC: What the hell does that have to do with anything?
DANA: I don't know, but there's relevancy there.
JEREMY: (knocks and enters) Excuse me.
ISAAC: Come on in.
DANA: I have to get back to work.
ISAAC: Ok. (Dana leaves, Jeremy shuts the door) What's on your mind, Jeremy?
JEREMY: Oh, quite a bit, actually.
ISAAC: Then is it too late for me to take back my question?
JEREMY: I think I'm in love with this girl. No, obviously love's too strong, but I met this girl.
ISAAC: Is she in any way related to me?
ISAAC: Then we're fine.
JEREMY: She's an adult-film actress.
ISAAC: A porn star?
JEREMY: I think they prefer "adult-film actress."
ISAAC: How'd you meet her?
JEREMY: I met her the other night when she started talking to me at Anthony's. We were talking for a couple hours, but then I kind of blew her off when I found out what she did. Then I got to the office the next day and I emailed her website.
ISAAC: She has a website?
ISAAC: Well, I'm not that wild about email traffic from porn stars coming to the office.
JEREMY: I set up a special address. She's the only on that can hit it. But it's been three days since I sent it and I haven't heard back from her. By the way, if you ever want to do it, use a server in Finland. It stores the return address in an encrypted file, sends the message to the recipient with an address from the remailer.
ISAAC: Does the porn star know you're this much of a dork?
JEREMY: I don't think she does. But my question was... am I crazy for thinking about her this much?
ISAAC: You're reacting to your breakup with Natalie, and you're romanticizing the time you spent with this girl.
JEREMY: Yes. That's what I'm doing.
ISAAC: It's natural.
JEREMY: Yeah. Ok, thanks.
ISAAC: Are the Rangers playing tonight?
JEREMY: They're in Detroit.
DANA: The network would like me to remind you that you've signed nondisclosure forms with regard to tape-delayed broadcasts.
DAN: You know, it's not like that information's hard to get.
DANA: They asked me to remind you.
DAN: To say nothing if I don't think rumors about a long-jump competition in New Zealand are going to spread like wildfire.
DANA: Whatever. Jeremy, rundown.
JEREMY: I'll be right there.
[COMPUTER: Welcome. You've got mail.]
ABBY: I wanna write this down.
ABBY: 'Cause I'm gonna watch the tape delay later, and I want to know all the numbers. So Mike Powell was 29 feet--
DAN: Bob Beamon was 29 feet, 2 1/2. Mike Powell broke his record at 29 feet, 4 1/4 inches.
ABBY: Wow, just an inch and 3/4.
DAN: An inch and 3/4 is 100 miles in track and field. The distance is always 100 miles between first place and second place. You know, Jackie Robinson had a brother, and he ran the 200 meters. At the Olympics, he ran it faster than anyone had ever run it before and he still came in second.
ABBY: I didn't know Jackie Robinson had a brother.
DAN: 'Cause it was the 1936 Olympics, and the guy who came in first was Jesse Owens.
ABBY: Yeah, I was talking to a friend of mine who's a sports fan, and he said there was a magazine that did a top 100 list of the most influential people in sports and he thought it was strange that, uh, Casey made the list and you didn't.
DAN: Why would your friend bring that up?
ABBY: He just did.
DAN: Seems like the only reason he would bring that up is if he knew I was a patient of yours.
ABBY: He doesn't.
DAN: Anyway, my point is an inch is forever in track and field.
ABBY: So, 29 feet, 4 1/4 inches is the mark to beat?
CASEY: Food of many lands -- Mexico, China, Italy, your own nation of Israel.
DAN: It's track and field.
CASEY: Yeah, but it's the camaraderie I'm talking about.
DAN: You know, I've never been to Israel.
CASEY: That is why I am bringing Israel to you, my friend, with fine smoked meats and cheeses.
DAN: Yeah, meat and dairy is just what you want on the same plate for that touch of Jerusalem.
CASEY: Hey, come on.
DAN: I don't think so.
CASEY: Danny! You know, I think that there's a residual top 100 list thing going on.
DAN: There isn't.
CASEY: Alright, you've been like this for, like, a week now.
DAN: Casey, there isn't.
CASEY: Well, ok. I'm just going to go grab some menus if you change your mind. (leaves)
DAN: Jeremy, what is going on with you and email?
JEREMY: Someone emailed me that they want to meet me at a certain place tonight and I emailed them that I'm not going to go and I can see that they haven't opened the email yet, so she's just going to be sitting there.
DAN: Who's she?
JEREMY: You don't know her.
DAN: What's her name?
DAN: Jenny who?
JEREMY: I don't know her last name.
DAN: She gave you her email address but not her last name?
JEREMY: Are we done with 20 questions?
DAN: I'm just askin'.
JEREMY: She works under a different name.
DAN: What, is she a porn star?
JEREMY: They prefer "adult-film actress."
DAN: Oh man. Oh. (leaves)
DAN: I don't know why I reacted that way.
ABBY: You were jealous.
DAN: Of Jeremy?
DAN: It rained really hard last night.
CASEY: Hey, where are you going?
JEREMY: I gotta go tell somebody I'm not going to meet them.
CASEY: You comin' back?
CASEY: Hey, you were right about the rain.
CASEY: Ah, where are you going?
DANA: I'm running to the ATM.
DANA: I need cash.
CASEY: For what?
DANA: It's for general use.
CASEY: It's for betting with Natalie.
CASEY: You're gonna bet on track and field.
CASEY: You know, the two of you need to get yourselves in a meeting, you know that?
DANA: She gave me 8 to 5 on Heinrich in the pole vault.
DANA: Back in a minute.
CASEY: Oh, hey! Oh. Hey, ho. Since you're going out in the rainstorm anyway, feel like picking up the food?
DANA: From where?
CASEY: The following six places--
CASEY: Come on.
DANA: I'm not going to six places.
CASEY: They're all across the street from each other.
DANA: Have it delivered.
CASEY: No, it'll take forever and I'm starving. Remember the job I did for you when you had the flu?
DANA: Write 'em down for me.
JENNY: Oh, I'm, uh, wet.
JENNY: You're not.
JEREMY: I took an umbrella.
JENNY: Who knew it was gonna rain?
JEREMY: You should have asked me.
JENNY: Um, I was really glad to get your email.
JEREMY: And I was glad you wrote me back, but then I sent you another--
JENNY: Would you hang on? Hey, Jack, could I get a rum and coke and a cup of hot tea?
JENNY: You sent me another what?
JEREMY: Yeah, I sent you another email.
JENNY: Jack, why don't you hold off on that?
JEREMY: Look, I don't mind sitting here and having a drink with you. I mean, that's fine. But just so you know, there's not gonna be any kind of relationship.
JENNY: You don't mind sitting here having a drink with me? God, I'm walking on air.
JENNY: Why did you make me come down here tonight?
JEREMY: I sent you--
JENNY: Come to think of it, why did you come down here tonight if, as you say, you sent me an email?
JEREMY: I did send you an email.
JENNY: Not that I got.
JEREMY: Jenny, check your email. There'll be one from me, ok? I don't want to argue about that.
JENNY: What you said a second ago, about wanting to make it clear right off that there's not going to be a relationship, and the fact that we're both here right now anyway, what I'm saying, it sounds a lot to me like "What I'd really like to do is get drunk with a porn star, go back to her place, and have not have to worry about it in the morning."
JEREMY: That is in no way even remotely what I was saying.
JENNY: I'm sorry. I'm someone you can't explain to your parents, ok, but rest assured it takes a lot more work to get me into bed than that.
JEREMY: Yeah, unless you're playing the role of Cass, the new pool boy.
JENNY: (slaps him) You think I haven't heard that one before? (She leaves. After a moment, Jeremy follows her out.)
JEREMY: You should take my umbrella.
JENNY: I don't want your umbrella!
JEREMY: You're not gonna get a cab in the rain.
JENNY: I'm fine.
JEREMY: Listen, Jenny--
JENNY: I don't believe it.
JENNY: You can't stand in the rain without an umbrella?
JEREMY: Yes, Jenny, I learned when I was young that if I do that, I'll get wet.
JENNY: And I learned when I was young if I get wet, I'll dry off. I learned not to be troubled by water falling from the sky. I learned that, when I was young, the things that frightened me, might not be so frightening after all. That possibly, the only reason I was frightened was because I was young.
JEREMY: It was nice knowing you, Jenny. (starts to leave, then turns back) You're wearing a raincoat.
JEREMY: It was raining when you left your apartment. You don't have an umbrella because you don't have an umbrella, only you won't admit it 'cause you are Miss "I meant to do that. I'm free and open and unafraid of rain. I'm wet 'cause that's how I meant it to be. I have a degree in dance from Julliard, I make x-rated movies now, but that's how I meant it to be." You think I'm timid? God forbid you should admit you're not a tough guy.
JENNY: I'm going inside until the rain stops.
JEREMY: I was offering you the umbrella.
JENNY: No, thank you.
CASEY: How the hell long can it take a person to go to an ATM and pick up food from six restaurants?
NATALIE: Are the restaurants close to each other?
CASEY: Well, not as close as I lead her to believe, but still.
DAN: (shouting from his office) Could you guys quiet down?
NATALIE: Did you guys just hear Dan?
DAN: Could you guys quiet down?
CASEY: I thought you went home.
DAN: Evidently I didn't. When's Oscar up?
ELLIOT: Any minute.
Dana enters wearing a garbage bag as a makeshift raincoat.
NATALIE: Oh my God. Dana?
CASEY: What happened?
DANA: It's raining.
DANA: No, Casey, it's raining really, really hard.
NATALIE: Where have you been?
DANA: I-- I thought it was gonna let up after a few minutes and I was just gonna duck out of it. The first door I tried was open; you know what it was?
NATALIE: A church?
DANA: How did you know I was gonna say that?
NATALIE: I don't know.
DANA: I sat in a church. And I feel good. I'm going back. There's something there for me.
CASEY: You didn't get the food.
DANA: No, Casey. I wanted to tell you about my church experience.
CASEY: Well, that's an even trade off.
DANA: They gave me this hefty bag.
KIM: It's starting.
DAVE: Chris, sound.
DANA: Jeremy, guess where I've been.
DANA: You see! He knew.
JEREMY: I was standing right here.
CASEY: Turn it up!
The scenes from earlier play: watching the start of the long jump competition. Dan watches from his office, apart from the others.
ANNOUNCER ON TV: Conditions are ideal for Oscar Parrish. Are we about to see a new world record? Let's find out as Parrish sets.
ANNOUNCER #2: Here we go. The jump. He's got it. He's got it. I think he's got it, Gary! 29 feet, 5 1/4 inches. Oscar Parrish sets the world record.
ABBY: You told me who won.
ABBY: I lulled you into it.
DAN: Hey, we were all lulled into it.
ABBY: What do you mean?
Immediately after Oscar's jump. Dan watches the monitor as another long jumper prepares.
DAN: Have you seen this guy before?
DANA: Who is he?
DAN: He's Austrian.
ANNOUNCER #2: Walter Weingradt of Austria on the runway.
DANA: Look at those legs.
ANNOUNCER #2: 19 years old and jumping in only his third world competition. Weingradt sets. The jump. Oh my God.
NATALIE: Oh my God.
ANNOUNCER #2: Gary, they're measuring... they're measuring at 29 feet, 8 1/4?! A full three inches better than Oscar Parrish, whose gold medal hopes, whose world-record hopes have just come to an abrupt finish.
ANNOUNCER #1: From out of nowhere, 19-year-old Walter Weingradt has set a record that will not be challenged for some time.
Jeremy watches the results, then turns to leave.
Jeremy waits outside for Jenny. When she exits, he opens his umbrella and stands next to her.
JEREMY: See, this is better. It's a nice umbrella too. I got it at Macy's.
JENNY: You really came back here to talk to me about accessories?
JEREMY: A guy, a long jumper named Oscar Parrish, just set a new world record, which is what he'd been working toward his whole life. Then that record got broken a few minutes later by a guy no one had ever heard of.
JENNY: Do you know this guy?
JEREMY: Oscar Parrish?
JEREMY: No, I don't know him, but if you cover sports...
JEREMY: Now, two things. The first is I signed a nondisclosure form that says I'm not allowed to tell you what I just told you, so please don't tell anyone else.
JENNY: My friends an I don't sit around talking about long jump competitions.
JEREMY: Who the hell knows what you people talk about when you're naked?
JENNY: Well, we certainly don't talk about it when we're naked, Jeremy. What was the second thing?
JEREMY: I like you. And I hurt your feelings. I wanted to come back here and insist that you take my umbrella.
JENNY: I think you wanted to come back here just to be with me... but give me the damn umbrella. I'm going home now.
JEREMY: I'm wet now.
JEREMY: I'm getting wet, as you can see. I don't mind, for I am fine, here in the rain.
JENNY: Pretty big step for you, is it?
JEREMY: Not monumental but... so?
JEREMY: Don't you want to know how I knew it was gonna rain?
JEREMY: This time of year, there's a low pressure system that moves down from Newfoundland. Ordinarily, it moves out to sea once it hits Northern New England, but there's a particularly unusual Atlantic cold front that I knew would keep it coastally contained, leaving the system no choice but to move down here.
JENNY: You're a dork.
JEREMY: Yes. Yes, I am. I'm gonna go home now too.
JENNY: You got an umbrella?
JEREMY: Don't need one.
JENNY: For you are fine.
JEREMY: For I am.
JENNY: I think that's just an excuse for being too dumb to have an umbrella. I'll walk you.
ABBY: You're bothered because he came in second?
DAN: He held the world record for five minutes.
ABBY: That's five minutes longer than most people do.
DAN: You know what? I've heard that kind of thing, and I'm gonna say this, ok? If you're good enough to come in second place, then you're good enough to be disappointed in it. And you never heard of Bob Beamon.
ABBY: Not everybody needs the love of strangers.
DAN: He was an athlete, Abby. Athletes need to win. It's not about, you know--
ABBY: You feel disconnected from people around you now?
ABBY: Yeah, people are challenging themselves, trying new things. Dana went to church, found out she liked it. Jeremy's on an adventure. You wonder why that didn't happen to you. Meantime, your partner got on the list and you didn't, just like Oscar Parrish.
DAN: It was his whole life.
ABBY: Probably wasn't. And his whole life isn't over yet. Now I think most people would say you've got a pretty good life, but yours isn't over yet either, by the way, though our time is up.
ABBY: Our time's up.
DAN: No, it's cool. Really, I can't stay.
ABBY: You already did. That was the hour.
ABBY: Yes. One of these days I'd like to go back to you sitting down.
original transcript from the_49th_floor