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Season 2: Episode 17: Draft Day Part I: Rain at Indian Wells

Anthony's
Dan and Casey sit at the bar. Dana and Natalie sit a table apart from them.
DANA: Is it noticeable?
NATALIE: The bandage?
DANA: Yes.
NATALIE: No.
DANA: Except you just noticed it.
NATALIE: I didn't notice it.
DANA: I asked you, "Did you notice it?" and you said, "What, the bandage?"
NATALIE: I guessed at it.
DANA: Really?
NATALIE: You used powers of suggestion.
DANA: Really?
NATALIE: You have a bandage the size of a sleeping bag on your face, Dana, of course it's noticeable.
DANA: Yes.
NATALIE: But you look fine.
DANA: The question -- the real question -- the question is where do you put Tommy Castro?
NATALIE: Fifth in the second.
DANA: No!
NATALIE: San Diego's gonna take him fifth.
DANA: San Diego doesn't need help outside.
NATALIE: Not now, but they're gonna trade Dobson up for the 17th pick in the first round. You watch.
DANA: Castro to San Diego in the second?
NATALIE: Yeah.
DANA: All right.
NATALIE: Castro's an attractive man.
DANA: Natalie...
NATALIE: I'm just saying.
DANA: Just saying what?
NATALIE: That I find his taut and muscular body and piercing green eyes to be attractive and that I'd like to have sex with him.
DANA: You need to calm down.
NATALIE: I should call him up and tell him that.
DANA: Yeah, that's what you wanna do.
NATALIE: It's 2:20 in the morning. We've been here for almost two hours.
DANA: You wanna go home?
NATALIE: No, I'm just sayin'.
DANA: You're just sayin' what?
NATALIE: I'm saying where are the men? I'm saying what happened to the boys?
DANA: I've been telling you, Natalie, they all went off to fight Germany and Japan. Best we can do is sell war bonds and give them a dance at the USO.
NATALIE: What happened to men hitting on women in bars?
DANA: Uh-huh.
NATALIE: It's 2am, I'm obviously drunk, and I'm sitting here!
JACK: Natalie.
NATALIE: Sorry, Jack.
DANA: See, you got us in trouble.
NATALIE: Jack's cute.
DANA: Natalie, we've got a 3-hour broadcast tomorrow. Seriously, we've got to finish the prep.
NATALIE: I'm thinking about getting drunk tonight.
DANA: Ok.

CASEY: Whitson, Woodson, Rofofsky -- 17, 18, 19.
DAN: Look at it again.
CASEY: I looked at it enough. Or maybe Tommy Castro.
DAN: You want me to read it out loud?
CASEY: No, it's not gonna be Tommy Castro.
DAN: It's from professional golf's very own David Duval.
CASEY: You know, I don't think it's gonna be Tommy Castro. I don't think it's gonna be Castro because I think Cap Harris knows something about his knees that I don't know.
DAN: PGA superstar David Duval.
CASEY: Natalie?
NATALIE: Yeah?
CASEY: I wanna know more about Tommy Castro's knees.
NATALIE: You and me both, sailor man.
CASEY: What the hell?
JACK: She's fine.
CASEY: There is a skill. There is an art. There's an art to Draft Day predictions. There's an art to winning money from Dana. It's like getting a fine hound to swallow a pill.
DAN: (speaking to the woman sitting on the other side of him) Excuse me. Hi. Would you mind reading that?
WOMAN: Sure. (reads the note)
DAN: Out loud.
WOMAN: Uh, "To Dan Rydell."
DAN: That's me.
WOMAN: I'm Karen.
DAN: I don't care. I need you to keep reading.
WOMAN: "4pm, Saturday at Alpine. See you in the sandtrap."
DAN: Read who it's from.
WOMAN: "David Dynel."
DAN: That's David Duval.
WOMAN: It-- it looks like a "Y."
DAN: No, it's a "U."
WOMAN: Ok.
DAN: That's a phone message from David Duval to me.
WOMAN: Yes...
DAN: The David Duval.
WOMAN: The guy from The Godfather?
DAN: That's Robert Duvall.
WOMAN: The actor.
DAN: Yes. I'm talking about David Duval, the golfer.
WOMAN: I don't know who he is.
DAN: Well, I'm playing golf with him tomorrow and if you knew who he was, you're think that was cool.
NATALIE: Danny, please stop hitting on women in bars who aren't me!
JACK: Natalie.
NATALIE: Sorry, Jack.
DANA: If Casey's taking Whitson, Woodson, and Rofofsky -- 17 up -- that means he knows something about Tommy Castro's knees he's not sharing with the rest of us and for that, I'm afraid he's gonna have to pay a price. A crisp $100 bill would do nicely!
JACK: Dana.
DANA: Sorry, Jack. A crisp $100 bill from Casey. A Mr. Abraham Lincoln.
NATALIE: Casey changed his name to Abraham Lincoln?
DANA: No, on the $100 bill.
NATALIE: Benjamin Franklin.
DANA: Okey-dokey then.
NATALIE: Do you think if Benjamin Franklin was in this bar right now, he'd try to hit on me?
DANA: Man, do I wish we were covering more than the first round tomorrow. I love Draft Day. I live for Draft Day. And for Casey bringing me a $100 bill in his teeth.
NATALIE: I like Draft Day too.
DANA: Yeah, it's a great day.
NATALIE: (toasting) To Draft Day.


News Room/Set/Editing Room
DANA: Here are the rules.
CASEY: I know the rules.
DANA: We're gonna go over the rules.
CASEY: I know the rules.
DANA: Yeah, but what's the fun of playing a game if you're not gonna go over the rules?
CASEY: Yes, that's the fun part.
DANA: The following are the rules.
CASEY: You're such a loser.
DANA: All predictions must be made before the commissioner reaches the podium.
CASEY: Yes.
DANA: Ok, those were the rules.
CASEY: Can we go over that first one again?
DANA: By the way, it's Benjamin Franklin on the $100 bill.
CASEY: Who said it wasn't?
DANA: Nobody. I'm just saying if maybe you thought it was Abraham Lincoln.
CASEY: No.
DANA: Don't you just love Draft Day?
CASEY: Yes, I do.
DANA: Don't you wish we were covering more than the first round?
CASEY: Yes, I do.
DANA: You know something about Tommy Castro's knees, don't you?
CASEY: Well, just, you know, what everybody knows.
DANA: Yeah?
CASEY: Yeah?
DANA: Ok. (They start a staring contest.)
CASEY: Hey, Jeremy.
DANA: Hey, Jeremy.
JEREMY: Hello. What's happening now?
DANA: Nothing. I'm leaving.
CASEY: Ah.
DANA: To go.
JEREMY: Ok. (Dana leaves.)
CASEY: She's cooked.
JEREMY: Hey, what's a choreo-animator?
CASEY: A choreo-animator?
JEREMY: Yeah.
CASEY: I don't know.
JEREMY: I was on the elevator and somebody said to somebody else that they were a choreo-animator.
CASEY: I don't know.
JEREMY: That's troublesome. (walks to set, Casey's follows)
CASEY: Hey. Whitson, Woodson, Rofofsky.
JEREMY: You know something about Tommy Castro's knees?
CASEY: No.
JEREMY: Whitson, Castro, Woodson, Rofosky.
CASEY: (yells to people on set) Hey, hey! Draft Day, baby!
JEREMY: Yes, indeed baby! (to Casey) You ever notice how I can't say "baby" without saying ridiculous?
CASEY: I have noticed that.
JEREMY: There are lots of words I can't use that I'd like to.
CASEY: Like what?
JEREMY: "Dang."
CASEY: You know, I see what you mean.
JEREMY: I have uses for that.
CASEY: Say, Jeremy.
JEREMY: Dan told you.
CASEY: Yes.
JEREMY: That was so unbelievably predictable.
CASEY: So as to not even merit discussion, so let's move on.
JEREMY: Oh, let's do.
CASEY: You're dating a porn star?
JEREMY: I have met and spent social time with an actress who appears in adult films, yes.
CASEY: How you manage to make dating a porn star sound like a day at the public library is beyond me.
JEREMY: Well, dang, Casey.
CASEY: What's her name?
JEREMY: Her real name or her screen name?
CASEY: Screen name.
JEREMY: Well, I won't tell you that.
CASEY: Well, what's her real name?
JEREMY: Jenny.
CASEY: Oh, so this is pretty serious.
JEREMY: Well, I know her real name, so we're at that point in our relationship.
CASEY: Seriously, Jeremy, you like her?
JEREMY: I really do.
CASEY: Does she like sports?
JEREMY: She likes sports. We talk about sports.
CASEY: You're dating a porn star who likes sports?
JEREMY: I know, that's why I'm not talking about it. Any minute now my mother's gonna wake me up and tell me it's time to go to school.
CASEY: Oh, well, the thing is, while you may not be talking about it, other people are.
JEREMY: People know about Jenny?
CASEY: People know you're seeing someone, but they don't know what she does except for Danny and me.
JEREMY: See your way clear to keeping it that way, if you could.
CASEY: Yeah, but I'm just saying--
JEREMY: Natalie.
CASEY: She knows you're seeing somebody and I thought maybe you could say a word to her to let the healing process begin so there could be a process of healing that could begin.
JEREMY: Why are you talking like somebody who didn't get the lecture notes for Intro to Psych?
CASEY: Jeremy, there are icicles growing off the ceiling of this place. There is tension here -- tension on Draft Day.
JEREMY: That shouldn't be.
CASEY: No, and as the kind of ad hoc director of morale around here --
JEREMY: You're the director of morale?
CASEY: Yeah.
JEREMY: When did that happen?
CASEY: Well, it was ad hoc.
JEREMY: Ok.
CASEY: So, you'll maybe say a word to her?
JEREMY: Yeah, thanks.
CASEY: All right. So, Whitson, Castro, Woodson--
JEREMY: Rofofsky.
CASEY: Great. Can you just tell me... Jenny, was she in "Deep Throat"?
JEREMY: Yeah, Casey. I'm dating a porn star who's a contemporary of my grandmother.
CASEY: Well, I got to get into a video store one of these days. I am missing this whole thing.
JEREMY: You really do want to be a part of it.

Isaac's Office
DANA: Isaac.
ISAAC: What happened to your face?
DANA: What do you mean?
ISAAC: You have a bandage on your face.
DANA: It's noticeable?
ISAAC: Yes.
DANA: I fell on my face.
ISAAC: Literally?
DANA: Can you believe the metaphor?
ISAAC: Did you trip over something?
DANA: No, just fell down.
ISAAC: Ok.
DANA: Don't you love Draft Day?
ISAAC: I do.
DANA: I had t-shirts made.
ISAAC: Yes, I see.
DANA: They say, "I survived Draft Day at Sports Night."
ISAAC: They're very sharp.
DANA: See how I played the "day" and the "night" off each other?
ISAAC: Oscar Wilde would have been proud.
DANA: Next year, Isaac.
ISAAC: Dana--
DANA: Next year, you gotta make 'em do it.
ISAAC: Listen--
DANA: It's not enough just covering the first round. We've gotta cover at least the first two rounds, at least.
ISAAC: Dana-- (holds out a piece of rolled up paper with a ribbon tied to it)
DANA: At minimum. What is that?!
ISAAC: Open it.
DANA: It's for me?
ISAAC: Yes.
DANA: What is it?
ISAAC: Open it?!
DANA: It's a fax.
ISAAC: Yes.
DANA: What's it say?
ISAAC: You're holding it in your hands.
DANA: "With rain threatening to wash out scheduled coverage at Indian Wells, please be prepared to stay on the air an additional--" oh my God!
ISAAC: How 'bout that?
DANA: The second round.
ISAAC: If it rains in Indian Wells.
DANA: We're gonna cover the second round!
ISAAC: If it rains.
DANA: Make sure it rains.
ISAAC: I'll try.
DANA: Don't try, Isaac. Get it done.
ISAAC: Anyway, get everybody set just in case.
DANA: You better believe it, baby!
ISAAC: Ok.
DANA: The t-shirts are 100% cotton!
ISAAC: Ok.


Studio
NATALIE: Jack Jankowicz is in Baltimore. Kelly's in St. Louis. We added two more staffers at the Garden.
DAN: Natalie, you know what would make you a better golfer?
NATALIE: Learning to play golf?
DAN: Focusing less on results.
NATALIE: Carol and Tim.
DAN: You know, golf is 50% mental.
NATALIE: I'm beginning to think that so are you, Dan.
DANA: Guess what, guess what's happened.
DAN: You bought t-shirts for everybody.
DANA: I did buy t-shirts for everybody, but--
DAN: Dana, how you spend your time and money sometimes amazes me.
DANA: Well, I got a deal.
DAN: Please tell me they were free.
DANA: I thought people might like them.
DAN: Absolutely. Now if you'll just bring out the juice and crackers--
NATALIE: Stop it. What's going on?
DANA: Man, Danny, no wonder Casey can't stand you these days.
NATALIE: Dana!
DANA: Sorry. It might rain at Indian Wells. If it does, we stay on the air for the second round.
NATALIE: Excellent.
DAN: W-- What are you talking about?
DANA: It might rain at Indian Wells.
DAN: I heard that part.
DANA: If it does, we stay on the air--
DAN: I'm not staying on the air.
DANA: Of course you are.
DAN: No, I'm not.
DANA: Why not?
DAN: I'm playing golf this afternoon.
DANA: You play golf many afternoons.
DAN: This is David Duval.
DANA: With whom you play golf three times a year.
DAN: And with whom I'm playing golf with this afternoon.
DANA: Well, not if it rains in Indian Wells.
DAN: I don't care if it snows in Saskatchewan. I had plans.
DANA: Dan.
DAN: Casey can anchor the second round by himself.
DANA: I know, but it's better if he has a partner.
DAN: Better for who?
DANA: Whom, Dan. Better for whom.
DAN: Dana.
DANA: Better of the show. Take care of this. (leaves)
NATALIE: Dan.
DAN: Natalie, this is my 13th day in a row working. Do you understand--
NATALIE: And everyone appreciates it.
DAN: This sucks.
NATALIE: I had plans too, Danny. I was gonna hang around construction sites, but--
DAN: I'm not going to do it.
NATALIE: You say that now.
DAN: I'm going to say it later, too. I'm not doing it.
KIM: Five minutes to air. First team in the studio.
DAN: Yeah, I'm not doing it.

Studio/Control Room
DAVE: 10 seconds live.
WILL: Stand by sound.
CHRIS: Stand by F/X 1, 2, and 2A.
DANA: Natalie?
NATALIE: Don't worry about it. He'll be fine.
DANA: Good show, everybody.
DAVE: In 3, 2...

CASEY: Good morning. From New York City, I'm Casey McCall alongside Dan Rydell for a special CSC presentation of Draft Day 2000. We'll have all the first-round action from Madison Square Garden, including analyses, prediction, reactions, and more.
DAN: Here's how we play our game. Teams have 15 minutes to make their selection. Once they do, the general manager will join the commissioner at the podium to let some young man's parent know their son won't be needing his allowance anymore.
DAVE: Stand by 4.
DAN: Cleveland's on the clock with the first selection and with that, we take you to Kelly Kirkpatrick live at the Garden. Kelly?
DAVE: We're out.

CHRIS: This is stand by. I'll get a 30-second cue from the Garden on comeback.
DAVE: Garden, don't leave me in the woods here. Give me the 411, the whole ride.
DANA: We are underway.
JEREMY: We are underway, baby! That didn't work.
DANA: No, that was good.
JEREMY: I sounded like an idiot.
DANA: It was sweet.
ELLIOT: Here's the part I don't understand.
KIM: Absolutely.
ELLIOT: I will never understand this part.
KIM: And neither will I.
ELLIOT: Cleveland's had four months to make this decision.
KIM: And yet rather than go up on stage and tell the world what it already knows...
ELLIOT: They're gonna take the 15 minutes.
KIM: 15 minutes of sitting around and waiting.
ELLIOT: 15 minutes where we have no responsibilities at all.
DANA: Excuse me, are you guys asking if it's ok if you go get a danish from the guy downstairs?
ELLIOT: They're the really good ones today.
DANA: Get me a cinnamon.
JEREMY: Cheese.
WILL: Prune.
CHRIS: Cheese.
DAVE: Cinnamon.
NATALIE: Prune?
WILL: It's good.
NATALIE: Prune.
ELLIOT: Did you get all that?
KIM: No, but I don't care that much.
DANA: You know, I don't see a lot of people wearing t-shirts here. In fact, I see a total of, hmm, none.
JEREMY: I'm saving mine for a special occasion.
DANA: Like what?
JEREMY: Labor Day.
DANA: It's a Draft Day t-shirt, Jeremy. You're supposed to be wearing it on Draft Day.
JEREMY: Dana, the t-shirt says, "I survived Draft Day," which I've not yet done.
DAVE: He's got a point.
DANA: Shut up.
DAVE: Ok.
JEREMY: (getting up) Stretching my legs.
DANA: Stay close.
NATALIE: Why does he have to say that?
DANA: Look--
NATALIE: Why does he have to say he's stretching his legs when he's obviously--
DANA: Draft Day spirit, Natalie.
NATALIE: I'm just saying.
DANA: You're just saying what?
NATALIE: He calls her four times a day. We went out for a year. He never called me four times in a day.
DANA: You worked together from noon to midnight.
NATALIE: I have a desk, Dana. I have an extension. Totally unencumbered. Any man who wanted to could just have me right now. (Will starts to stand up)
DANA: Sit down.

CASEY: A, it might not rain. B, if it rains, you play with him some other time.
DAN: Whatever.
CASEY: You wanna help me with my picks?
DAN: Whitson, Woodson, Rofofsky. Casey, what's the trouble?
CASEY: Whitson, Castro, Woodson, Rofofsky. See, neither you nor Dana have mastered what we like to call the art of the hunt. Dana thinks I know something about Castro's knees, which I do not. This is what we like to call the classic psych-out.
DANA: (into mic) Casey?
CASEY: Yeah.
DANA: I'm listening to you, you know?
CASEY: I know. See, this is still part of the psych-out.
DAN: I'm gonna go lie down on the couch in editing.
CASEY: Hey, we could be back any second.
DAN: It takes 15 minutes, Casey. It always takes 15 minutes. The day it takes less than 15 minutes is the day the sky falls down. Somebody shout for me.
DANA: (walks up to the anchor desk) Hello.
CASEY: Hello.
DANA: Dan, I need you close.
DAN: Dana, I'm going to the damn editing room.
DANA: Ok.

Editing Room
JEREMY: Uh, uh-huh. 3:00.
DAN: Hey.
JEREMY: I'm totally fine with this.
DAN: He's making me crazy.
JEREMY: Really, I'm fine. If you were here, you'd look at me, you'd say, "He looks fine."
DAN: He looks fine.
JEREMY: 3:00. (hangs up) Well.
DAN: Was that her?
JEREMY: Jenny.
DAN: Was that her?
JEREMY: Yes. I'm walking the shadowy line between honesty and not.
DAN: What'd you do?
JEREMY: I want to be out in the open about this. I don't want to make her feel like--
DAN: She's paid to have sex with, like, a hundred different guys on camera?
JEREMY: Like I'm ashamed of her, yeah.
DAN: So you invited her over here.
JEREMY: Yeah.
DAN: To show her to the gang.
JEREMY: Yeah.
DAN: And tell everyone what she does?
JEREMY: If they ask, yeah.
DAN: Ok.
JEREMY: If they ask. I'm not making a cover story. I mean, I can't think of anything that'd be more insulting than making--
DAN: Yeah.
JEREMY: The thing is, the first round will be done by 2:00 and I told her to come at 3:00 when I knew Natalie wasn't gonna be here anymore.
DAN: Yeah.
JEREMY: I'm feeling kind of bad about that.
DAN: Well, cheer up then.
JEREMY: Why?
DAN: If it rains at Indian Wells, we're covering the second round.
JEREMY: What do you mean?
DAN: If it rains at Indian Wells, we're covering the second round.
JEREMY: I don't understand.
DAN: If it rains at Indian Wells, we're covering the second round.
JEREMY: The second round will take us to 6:00, maybe 7:00. I told Jenny to come at 3:00.
DAN: Maybe she'll be late.
JEREMY: She won't be late.
DAN: She's a pretty punctual porn star?
JEREMY: Dan.
DAN: I like alliteration. Take it easy.
JEREMY: It cannot, it must not rain at Indian Wells.
DAN: Hey, I got a tee time with David Duval, so get in line.
JEREMY: Though, interestingly, it was a rainstorm that ended our first fight.
DAN: Interesting.
JEREMY: All right, back to being panicked. It cannot, it must not rain at Indian Wells.

Studio
Casey and Dana are having a staring contest
JEREMY: Hello.
CASEY: Hello.
DANA: Hello.
JEREMY: What are you doing?
DANA: Demonstrating to Casey that he can't psych me out. I've made my Draft Day predictions. I'm not changing them.
JEREMY: Ok, well, this is really stupid and I need to talk to Casey, so--
ELLIOT: Danish.
DANA: Uh, hang on, hang on. I am breaking eye contact now, but not because you've won some battle of the mind, but because the danish is here. I'm breaking... now.
KIM: You guys seriously need to calm down.
DANA: I know.
CASEY: What's up?
JEREMY: I'm walking the shadowy line between honesty and deceit.
CASEY: Ah, I know that line well. One need only to think back to Dana and Gordon and Sally and me and Dana and Sally and Gordon.
JEREMY: Right, but this is my thing and this is now, so let's not think back so much. Jenny's coming here at 3:00, which I thought was both wise and good since I wanted to show Jenny that I'm prepared to be totally up front about who she is.
CASEY: While still avoiding telling Natalie who she is.
JEREMY: Yes.
CASEY: Indian Wells.
JEREMY: Yes.
CASEY: Chance of rain.
JEREMY: Yes.
CASEY: Second round coverage.
JEREMY: Yes.
CASEY: Jeremy Goodwin.
JEREMY: Yes.
CASEY: Totally screwed.
JEREMY: You like Draft Day, don't you?
CASEY: To an admittedly psychotic extent, yes.
JEREMY: See, and that's another thing, too, 'cause I'd like to be rooting for rain at Indian Wells. I wanted to go to the second round.
CASEY: But now?
JEREMY: Not so much.
CASEY: Jeremy, listen to me. Why don't you just rip the bandage off, bite the bullet, swallow hard, and tell her? You got to stop living in fear and start rooting for rain at Indian Wells.
JEREMY: Yes.
CASEY: Good.
JEREMY: That makes sense to me.
CASEY: Good.
JEREMY: That makes complete sense.
CASEY: Yes.
JEREMY: I will go.
CASEY: And yet you stand here.
JEREMY: Yes. Ok, I will go.
CASEY: It's Draft Day, Alyson.
ALYSON: Yeah.
CASEY: Nothin' like it.
ALYSON: Yep.
CASEY: You know what Draft Day is?
ALYSON: Nope.
CASEY: Ok.

News Room
NATALIE: I'm good looking, I'm smart, career oriented, I have sass.
ELLIOT: You smell good.
NATALIE: I smell great.
ELLIOT: Ok.
NATALIE: I'm just saying.
JEREMY: Natalie.
NATALIE: Hello.
JEREMY: Just the woman I'm looking for.
NATALIE: Coming out of the mouth of anyone but the guy I just broke up with, that'd make my day.
JEREMY: I broke up with you, but that seems neither here nor there. Can I talk to you a second?
NATALIE: Yeah, I broke up with you there, Mr. "Obviously has a short-term memory loss with a myriad of other problems, which I won't even go into, but thinks that he broke up with me because of the short-term memory loss, which is so obvious."
JEREMY: No need to be so formal. I've seen you naked. Call me Jeremy.
NATALIE: What do you want?
JEREMY: Can I talk to you in there?
NATALIE: Sure. (They go into the conference room) Yes?
JEREMY: Hi.
NATALIE: Hi.
JEREMY: So, aren't you just nuts about Draft Day?
NATALIE: Jeremy, I know you're seeing someone.
JEREMY: Yeah, well, look, first of all, I just met her recently and I've only seen her a couple of times.
NATALIE: You don't have to apologize.
JEREMY: Well, I'm not apologizing.
NATALIE: Ok.
JEREMY: I'm sorry you had to hear it through the grapevine.
NATALIE: That's where you hear things.
JEREMY: Yeah, I should have told you though.
NATALIE: Well, I'm not sure you're right, but you obviously made an effort, and I appreciate your bravery and honesty in coming to me.
JEREMY: And I appreciate your saying that and I appreciate your being cool about it.
NATALIE: Jeremy, please, I'm gonna walk out of here and I'm gonna break things, but for right now--
JEREMY: Yeah.
NATALIE: In-- You're an up front guy, Jeremy. You should stay that way.
JEREMY: I'll try.
NATALIE: What does she do?
JEREMY: Hmm?
NATALIE: What does she do?
JEREMY: For a living?
NATALIE: Yeah.
JEREMY: She's a professional choreo-animator.
NATALIE: Really?
JEREMY: Yeah.
NATALIE: What is that?
JEREMY: What is it?
NATALIE: Yeah.
JEREMY: What does it sound like to you?
NATALIE: It sounds like she makes up dance steps for cartoon characters.
JEREMY: Wow. That's exactly what it is.
NATALIE: She makes up dance steps for cartoon characters?
JEREMY: You got a problem with that?
NATALIE: No.
JEREMY: Any reason I should be ashamed of that?
NATALIE: She makes up dance steps for cartoon characters?
JEREMY: Well, it's not like they make them up themselves, now, is it, Natalie?
NATALIE: You're right.
JEREMY: Yes.
NATALIE: Ok.
JEREMY: I have to go now.
NATALIE: Are you going far?
JEREMY: If only I could.


Editing Room
DAN: Hey.
CASEY: Hey.
DAN: They really needed the whole damn 15 minutes, huh?
CASEY: Well, Dan, I think they want to be sure about their decisions before they put $10 million and the future of a football team in a guy's hands.
DAN: What's your problem?
CASEY: Where'd you go, man?
DAN: I've been here.
CASEY: No, you didn't come into work today. You haven't come into work in a week. Everybody here would like to be playing golf with David Duval. Everybody here would like to be with their new girlfriend or back with their old boyfriend or with their wife in Connecticut or getting a danish, but more than that, they'd rather be here. Where'd you go?
DAN: You know, Casey, I'm getting a little tired of you being senior camp counselor around here. I come to work. I do my job. I do it well. Maybe not well enough to be 92nd on the list--
CASEY: Oh, come on, Danny.
DAN: But I do it well enough.
CASEY: You know what I'm talking about.
DAN: Leave me alone.
CASEY: Hey, you know what? If you're not here, then I can't use you.
DAN: You can't "use" me?
CASEY: That's right.
DAN: When did I become Ed McMahon to you?
CASEY: No, you're not and you know it, all right? But I need to be able to do my show.
DAN: And when did it become your show?
CASEY: Come on, we're on the air.

Studio
CASEY: You had to make fun of Dana's t-shirts?
DAN: We'll talk about it later.
CASEY: Hey, Jeremy, we're back.
JEREMY: Yeah.
CASEY: How'd it go?
JEREMY: I'm still living in that shadowy place.

DANA: Casey, Dan, I'm transferring live footage to your monitors. Take a look. (On the monitors, is footage of an anchorman standing by tennis courts in the pouring rain)
CASEY: It's raining at Indian Wells.
JEREMY: Oh, God.
DAVE: In 10. In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
DAN: So, the newest member of the fraternity of professional athletes has just been selected, and something tells me this is just the beginning.
CASEY: Stay with us for all the action as we bring you not one but two rounds of Draft Day 2000. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.
DAVE: We're out.

*credits*


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Tags: ad hoc director of morale, bandage, danish, golf, season 2, shadowy line between honest and deceit
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