blonde high heeled feminist (notashamed) wrote in sntranscripts,
blonde high heeled feminist

Season 1: Episode 20: Ordinance Tactics

We see an empty news room. Empty offices. Empty studio and control room. Finally a door in the studio opens...

Natalie: Everybody, right back to it. Who's on Indy?
Elliot: Right here.
Natalie: Cut footage in five minutes, can you do it?
Elliot: Yes. Kim!
Kim: I'm gonna need sound.
Elliot: We'll get it.
Natalie: Kim, they've still got ten minutes of copy.
Kim: I'm on it.
Natalie: Thank you. No-huddle offense everybody. Dave, is there time for a camera test?
Dave: I'm gonna run a quick one. I need the first team.
Natalie: Kim, first team!
Dana: Chris, can you get with graphics.
Chris: On it.
Dana: Will--
Will: Control room.
Dana: Yes. Dan and Casey are standing in the middle of all this chaos saying nothing and not moving. What are you doing?
Dan: What?
Dana: What are you two doing?
Dan: Us?
Dana: Yes.
Dan: We're standing here.
Dana: Guys, we're on the air in fifteen minutes and thirty seconds, aren't there many things you're supposed to be doing?
Casey: Yes.
Dana: Then what are you doing?
Dan: There was a bomb scare.
Dana: I know. Casey--
Casey: There was a bomb scare.
Dana: Did you know the two of you have been repeating that over and over for the last hour and twenty minutes? Do you know you've been repeating that over and over?
Dan: Yes.
Dana: Why?
Casey: There was a bomb scare.
Dana: Yes.
Dan: There was.
Dana: It's over now.
Casey: Well it worked.
Dana: What do you--
Casey: We're scared!
Dana: Casey--
Dan: Dana, somebody just tried to blow up this building and you people are walkin' around like... somebody didn't just try to blow up this building!
Dana: Nobody tried to blow up the building. (Dana continues to walk around the office with Dan & Casey following her throughout this scene)
Casey: They threatened to blow up the building.
Dana: Please get to work.
Dan: Was this just herd instinct or did we actually get an all-clear from someone in authority?
Dana: They didn't find the bomb.
Casey: This is a huge building, they looked for an hour and twenty minutes.
Dan: I can't find my car keys in an hour and twenty minutes.
Dana: They have very advanced ways of detecting these things.
Dan: Do they?
Dana: Yes. (to Dave) 2-4-6 on a hard count. Bam, bam, bam.
Dave: Got it.
Casey: What are they?
Dana: What are what?
Dan: What are the advanced ways they have of detecting these things?
Dana: Dan--
Casey: What are the advanced ways?
Dana: Well, as I understand it, they use dogs.
Casey: I'm outta here.
Dan: Right behind you.
Dana: Oh get a hold of yourselves, would ya.
Casey: Dogs?
Dana: Dogs. Yes. Specially trained dogs.
Dan: We want to meet them.
Dana: Guys--
Dan: We want to meet the dogs right now.
Dana: Okay. And what will you say to the dogs when you meet them?
Dan: She's got a decent point.
Casey: Yeah.
Natalie: Pittsburgh put Steve Boyer and Randy McNeal on waivers.
Dana: That's a story.
Casey: Yes it is. Don't you think that's a story?
Dan: Yes. You know what else is a story?
Casey: That somebody tried to blow us up?
Dan: Yeah.
Dana: These two are the biggest babies.
Casey: Hey you're afraid of fish, okay? I'm afraid of dying in a hail of shrapnel, who's crazier?
Natalie: There's a contest.
Dana: McNeal and Boyer in the 30's. Get paintbox on an over-the-shoulder.
Natalie: Thank you.
Casey: Natalie--
Natalie: Fellas, you've got ten minutes of copy and you've gotta get into wardrobe.
Dan: We're just sayin' did they look hard.
Casey: Like did they look in the bottom drawer of our filing cabinet?
Dan: We never use that drawer.
Natalie: Everything's fine. Jeremy, isn't everything fine?
Jeremy: Yes.
Natalie: Everything's fine.
Dan: How do you know?
Natalie: Jeremy just told me.
Casey: Seriously--
Natalie: Chris, gimme Salt Lake.
Casey: Jeremy--
Jeremy: They use dogs.
Casey: Do you know what a bomb looks like?
Jeremy: Actually I don't.
Casey: Does anybody? Chris?
Chris: No.
Casey: Will?
Will: No.
Casey: Dave?
Dave: No.
Casey: But we're bettin' a German Shepherd can pick one out.
Jeremy: They smell them.
Casey: They smell them.
Natalie: Yes. Chris.
Chris: Salt Lake's up.
Dan: They're trained in this?
Natalie: Yes. Dave.
Dave: Camera 3 to mark.
Casey: Well trained?
Natalie: What?
Dan: Their sense of smell. It's superior?
Natalie: Yes.
Dana: Let's see 1 through 5 and I need Cincinnati. Dan, Casey, if you two don't--
Dan: Quick question.
Dana: What?
Dan: These dogs... do they ever get a cold?
Will: Cincinnati's up.
Dana: No.
Dan: They don't?
Dana: No.
Casey: Never?
Dana: No.
Dan: What're you, a vet?
Dana: Please--
Casey: Is there anyone who can say anything that will make us feel like the smart thing to do is to stay in this building right now?
Dana: In ten minutes, three and a half million people will tune in to watch the two of you on television. Many of them will be women.
Casey: All right.
Dan: Okay. (they both leave)
Dana: Ten minutes live.

Isaac's Office
Dana: (enters Isaac's office, picks up a call she had on hold) Alan, thanks for holding. I'm in Isaac's office, I know I saw it on his desk. (J.J. appears in the doorway) It's gonna be in outline form, but he's kept me pretty well up to speed on it so I think...
J.J. The deficit overlay?
Dana: That sounds fine, we can meet at four, if you like. No, wait, I'm sorry, I've got a run-down at four. We can meet at six-thirty. Good. Thanks. I spoke to him just this morning, he sounds awfully good. Yes. I spoke to him just this morning. I will. Thanks. (hangs up)
J.J. You spoke to Isaac this morning?
Dana: No. I spoke to Esther. Isaac couldn't--he was unable to come to the phone when I called.
J.J. Was there any sign of this?
Dana: Of what?
J.J Of Isaac having a stroke? Was there any sign of this?
Dana: Was there any sign of Isaac having a stroke?
J.J. Yes.
Dana: You mean other than Isaac having a stroke?
J.J. Dana, it's unbecoming of you to blame me for any part of this.
Dana: That's a shame, J.J., 'cause I want so much to be attractive to you. (They exit the office and walk into the News Room)
J.J. We're gonna have to work together.
Dana: Yes I know.
J.J. For instance, I can help you with the deficit overlay.
Dana: Isaac kept me up to speed.
J.J. And if you want to create the impression that Isaac's healthier than he is--for instance if you want to create the impression that Isaac's still in control of the show when clearly he's unable to even speak on a telephone... I can help you there, too.
Dana: He was unable to come to the phone when I called this morning, J.J., he's able to speak.
J.J. He just had a stroke, Dana, where was he, square dancing?
Dana: What do you want?
J.J. Excuse me?
Dana: What do you want?
J.J. I want to do my job. I want to help you, which is my job. And I want to do it all without being treated like the guy who ran over your dog, how's that?
Dana: That's fine.
J.J. You can't run the organization and run the show at the same time.
Dana: I don't have to run the organization.
J.J. He can't talk on the telephone, Dana. (Dana motions for J.J. to follow her into Dan and Casey's empty office)
Dana: Right now. Today.
J.J. I'm saying right now, today, give some of your responsibilities to Sally.
Dana: What's wrong with Natalie?
J.J. We have more confidence in Sally.
Dana: I have more confidence in Natalie.
J.J. Be that as it may--
Dana: You want me to run the organization but let the network make all the decisions?
J.J. I want you and I to work together to insure the network doesn't--
Dana: --what.
J.J. --feel the need to bring in--
Dana: --an interim managing editor.
J.J. Yes.
Dana: There's no need to do that.
J.J. I agree.
Dana: That is a bad move, that is a wrong call, and I will stand in Luther's office and tell him it's a wrong call.
J.J. Luther could give a damn what you think is a wrong call, Dana. He cares what I think is a wrong call. So don't sit there and think that I need you to like me, I'm telling you the way it is.
Casey: (entering with Dan) Hey.
Dan: Hey.
J.J. Hey.
Dana: Hey.
Casey: This is weird, 'cause this is exactly where our office used to be.
Dana: We can continue this in the conference room.
Dan: So J.J., yesterday was interesting.
J.J. How so?
Dan: How so?
J.J. Yes.
Dan: Well McKinney had 41 points against the Clippers, the Diamond Backs won their fourth in a row--
Casey: --and then there was that thing where somebody tried to blow us up.
Dan: Yeah.
J.J. Don't take it personally.
Dan: No I think I will take it personally.
J.J. The bomb threat was a hoax.
Casey: What was it about?
J.J. Denny Denton.
Casey: What about him?
J.J. They don't like his radio show.
Dan: I don't like his radio show either, you know what I do?
J.J. What?
Dan: I change the station.
J.J. Would that the world were as enlightened as you, Dan.
Dan: Oh were that it would.
Casey: Were.
Dan: What?
Casey: Never mind.
Dana: Thank you. When can I see rough features?
Casey: Two hours.
Dana: (to J.J.) Let's go.
Casey: Dana. (Dana comes back into the office)
Dana: Esther says he's doing a little better today.
Casey: I'll call her in a little bit.
Dan: You all right?
Dana: Yeah.
Dan: With him?
Dana: Yeah.
Dan: So we're two likable guys, right?
Casey: I think so.
Dan: I think we're very likable.
Casey: I'm liked wherever I go.
Dan: I'm liked wherever I go and wherever you go.
Casey: We're perfectly likable.
Dan: Yes. (They go back to their work for a moment)
Casey: Yet someone tried to blow us up.
Dan: That's what I'm sayin'.

Control Room
Natalie: Does this include Seattle?
Chris: Yes.
Will: No.
Chris: It does.
Will: It doesn't.
Natalie: The film from last night.
Chris: Yes.
Natalie: Seattle.
Chris: Yes.
Natalie: It does?
Chris: It does.
Will: It doesn't.
Natalie: Dave--
Dave: Hey. Betty, Wilma, is Seattle on the tape?
Natalie: (Jeremy taps on the window and motions to Natalie that he needs to talk to her) Excuse me. Hey.
Jeremy: Hi.
Natalie: Good news. Pluto isn't being demoted as a planet.
Jeremy: I need to talk to you. Can we go in the editing room?
Natalie: Sure.
Jeremy: Thanks.
Natalie: It was going to be demoted as a planet. It was gonna receive minor planet status. But apparently there was an outpouring of protest. Doesn't the whole thing strike you as funny?
Jeremy: What I'm gonna say might well sound abrupt and terrible, but when I say it, I want you to remember that the key word, the key word is "temporarily". Temporarily is the key word. So there's not gonna be any reason to be upset or unhappy. Okay? I think we should temporarily--temporarily-- stop seeing each other.
Natalie: Okay.
Jeremy: I'm serious.
Natalie: I know.
Jeremy: I think we should temporarily stop seeing each other.
Natalie: Okay.
Jeremy: I'm serious.
Natalie: I know.
Jeremy: Why are you not unhappy?
Natalie: I don't acknowledge it.
Jeremy: You don't acknowledge it?
Natalie: I don't recognize the break-up. I'm sorry.
Jeremy: You can't not recognize it.
Natalie: I am.
Jeremy: You can't.
Natalie: I did.
Jeremy: Natalie, this is a very hard time right now.
Natalie: I know.
Jeremy: My head is coming apart.
Natalie: I know.
Jeremy: I need to be able to get my life in order, to say nothing of what's going on with Isaac. I mean, this is a good time to give Dana everything we've got.
Natalie: I know.
Jeremy: We need to stop seeing each other.
Natalie: No. (exits editing room)
Jeremy: Wait. I break up with you.
Natalie: Mmmm, not this time. No. I gotta go back to work.
Jeremy: Natalie, this is unilateral. I don't need you to sign off on this in order for it to be valid.
Natalie: Sweetie, if it makes you feel better to break up with me, that's fine. But I don't break up with you.
Jeremy: It doesn't work like that.
Natalie: It's working like that right now. Does or does not the film contain Seattle.
Jeremy: Hang on.
Chris: It does.
Dave: It does.
Will: Apparently it does.
Jeremy: I'm not kidding, Natalie, I'm totally serious.
Dave: Would you guys like us to step out?
Natalie: No. Jeremy's trying to break up with me, but it won't take.
Jeremy: Natalie--
Natalie: Quiet. Show me Seattle.

Rebecca's Hallway
Phil: Hey Dan.
Dan: What do you say, Phil?
Celia: Hey, Dan.
Dan: You're a knockout, Celia. (Knocks on Rebecca's door)
Rebecca: Hey.
Dan: How ya doin'.
Rebecca: Before I get mad at you, how's Isaac?
Dan: His blood pressure's normal.
Rebecca: That's something.
Dan: Why are you mad at me?
Rebecca: Why were you avoiding me during the bomb scare?
Dan: I wasn't avoiding you.
Rebecca: You were. We were out on the street for over an hour. It was a perfectly good bomb scare.
Dan: I tried to find you.
Rebecca: No you didn't. And everytime I tried to find you, someone would say that you had just left the place that someone else had just said you had been right before.
Dan: That was a truly spectacular sentence.
Rebecca: Danny--
Dan: It was a bomb scare, Rebecca, I was serpentining. I was employing the covert ordnance tactics that I learned.
Rebecca: Where did you learn covert ordnance tactics?
Dan: 'Nam.
Rebecca: You're avoiding me.
Dan: Yes.
Rebecca: No, you are.
Dan: I just admitted it.
Rebecca: You are, Danny.
Dan: I'm sayin' I am.
Rebecca: Why are you avoiding me?
Dan: Why?
Rebecca: Yeah.
Dan: Take a wild, flailing, shot in the dark. Take a ridiculous, nothin' on the line, Hail Mary toss from the backcourt heave as to why I might be avoiding you.
Rebecca: 'Cause you thought Steve and I were divorced when in reality we're only separated and Steve wants us to go back into counseling and I'm on the fence about it and you hate Steve?
Dan: That's amazing.
Rebecca: Dan--
Dan: That's amazing that you got it on the first guess like that. I'm gonna take you on tour. We're gonna make some money, me and you.
Rebecca: I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about going back into counseling with Steve. I never said we needed to stop dating.
Dan: I will absolutely not stand in the way of another man's marriage.
Rebecca: Then what are you doing here?
Dan: What am I doing here?
Rebecca: Yes.
Dan: I came to say hi.
Rebecca: Hi.
Dan: No kidding. I know you were looking for me yesterday. I reaffirm my position that I'm here for you, but it would be wrong for us to date. But it should be noted that I'm here for you.
Rebecca: Where?
Dan: Here.
Rebecca: So your strategy for this is to be wonderful?
Dan: Yes.
Rebecca: Listen--
Dan: You know why?
Rebecca: Why?
Dan: It works every time.
Stuart: (walks by the open door) Hey Dan.
Dan: (without looking) Hey Stuart. (to Rebecca) Gotta go.

Conference Room
Dana: Sally, I hope this won't disrupt things too much on the two a.m.
Sally: It won't.
Dana: It's just for a week or so.
Sally: I understand.
Dana: Just 'til Isaac gets back.
Sally: I'm just surprised.
Dana: Are you?
Sally: Surprised that you asked me.
Dana: Why?
Sally: I would've thought you'd have more confidence in Natalie.
Dana: No.
Sally: I'd have thought you would.
Dana: No.
Natalie: Good news.
Dana: What?
Natalie: Pluto's still a planet.
Sally: It was touch and go there for a while?
Natalie: Don't underestimate Pluto. Pluto doesn't know the word quit.
Dana: Natalie, in Isaac's absence, I'm gonna have Sally assume some of my functions while I assume some of Isaac's.
Natalie: I had a hunch. Thanks for helping out, Sally.
Sally: Sure.
Dana: It's just 'til Isaac gets back.
Natalie: Right.
Dana: And I'm talking about some of my functions, not a lot.
Sally: Right.
Dana: Hardly any.
Natalie: I understand.
(Dan, Casey, Kim, Elliot enter)
Casey: Hey.
Dana: Guys, I'm having Sally take over a very small number of my functions.
Casey: That's fine.
Dana: Not many functions at all.
Jeremy: Could I say something please?
Dana: Sure.
Jeremy: Natalie and I have broken up. (Dana looks at Natalie, who shakes her head) We have.
Natalie: In his head.
Jeremy: I put it in writing.
Natalie: That's sweet.
Jeremy: All right. Just so you know. If I wanted to right now, I could ask out other women.
Natalie: No.
Jeremy: I could.
Natalie: No.
Jeremy: Dana, would you like to go out with me?
Dana: I can't.
Jeremy: Why not?
Dana: You're seeing Natalie.
Jeremy: That's it, I'm calling the police!
Dana: We've got the whip-around with what?
Dan: Baltimore, New York, Boston.
Casey: Oakland, San Francisco and L.A.
Dana: Features?
Jeremy: Mike Richter, the Chinese swimmer and the Lakers' front court.
Dana: Where are they?
Kim: 20, 50 and 60.
Dana: Where are we on time?
Elliot: We're six minutes long.
Dana: Let's get it down to two by the ten o'clock. That is all.
Natalie: Back here at ten.
Casey: Hang on. I've been handed some information I requested on, basically, what to do in the event you think the building you're in might blow up at any moment. For instance, it says you should stay away from unsecured walls or open electrical wiring. So it's a good thing you and I don't work in front of a fake backdrop over which hangs like a million volts of electrical equipment.
Dan: Yeah.
Natalie: Back here at ten.
Jeremy: I need to talk to you.
Natalie: Sure.
Jeremy: My mother and father are getting a divorce.
Natalie: I know that.
Jeremy: My father's been having an affair with another woman for 27 years.
Natalie: I know that too.
Jeremy: That's since before I was born.
Natalie: And someone, I'm not sayin' who, has a little birthday comin' up.
Jeremy: Natalie, stop walking. (She stops) Nothing is the same anymore.
Natalie: Many things are the same.
Jeremy: Natalie--
Natalie: I believe that your decision making skills aren't the best right now. I'm taking you into receivership. We're not broken up.

Dan & Casey's Office
Casey: (on the phone) He can hear you, though, right? He understands what you're saying? All right, tell him everything here is fine. Let him watch the show. Tell him everything is fine. I wish you'd let me do more, Esther. All right. G'bye.
Sally: Isaac's wife?
Casey: Yeah. He's doing better today.
Sally: Good.
Casey: Sally, tell me you didn't have anything to do with Natalie getting muscled to the side.
Sally: You know, for someone I'm sleeping with, sometimes you don't say the nicest things to me.
Casey: I'm sorry.
Sally: There's gonna be a press conference after the owners meet tonight in Tuscon, I can get you on the satellite feed between ten-twenty and ten-forty, you want it?
Casey: Yeah.
Sally: You got it.
Casey: But ask Natalie first.
Sally: I got a phone call, Casey. That's all.
Casey: How many people know about us?
Sally: How many have you told?
Casey: I told Dan.
Sally: Then that's how many know.
Casey: Okay.
Sally: Am I seeing you tonight?
Casey: Call me after your show.
Sally: Should I just come over?
Casey: Yeah, just come over.
Sally: Okay.
Casey: But talk to Natalie about the other thing.
Sally: Okay. I'm sorry about Isaac.
Casey: Thanks. I mean, yeah. Okay.
Sally: (passes Dan as he enters) Hey Dan.
Dan: Hey Sally.
Sally: What the hell does that mean?
Dan: What?
Sally: No, I mean, what the hell does that mean?
Dan: What the hell does what mean?
Sally: Hey Sally!
Dan: It meant, Hey Sally.
Sally: Okay, so did I just totally come unglued?
Dan: Yeah. I like to see it in you. It's a tense time. Glue's not gonna work. You wanna try it again?
Sally: Yeah.
Dan: Hey Sally.
SALLY Hey Dan.
Dan: There you go.
Sally: Thanks. (exits)
Dan: She's totally unglued.
Casey: We need to give that speech to Dana and Natalie.
Dan: What speech?
Casey: That unglued speech.
Dan: It wasn't a speech.
Casey: It was a talking-to, and we need to give it to Dana and Natalie.
Dan: I've noticed they're a little too calm.
Casey: They're way too calm.
Dan: Frighteningly calm.
Casey: They're gonna blow any second.
Dan: I've been thinking the exact same thing.
Casey: We can't defuse the explosives, but we can detonate them in an unpopulated area.
Dan: Drive it out to the desert where it can't hurt anybody.
Casey: That's right.
Dan: Well if you've got some calm people and you want to make them upset, I say we're the guys to do it.
Casey: Yeah.
Dan: Should we eat first?
Casey: Yeah.

Isaac's Office
Dana: (on the phone) It's no problem, Alan, he's got it here someplace. (Natalie enters) Listen, I'm gonna find it and call you back. Thank you. No, it's no problem.
Natalie: Sally put together a Q&A for the feed from Tuscon.
Dana: Good. It's what J.J. wanted, Natalie. He made a threat and I believed him.
Natalie: It's okay.
Dana: This isn't a good time to fight with the network.
Natalie: I understand.
Dana: Thank you.
Natalie: It's no problem.
Dan: (entering with Casey) It's no problem.
Casey: Don't worry about it.
Dan: Everything's fine.
Casey: Couldn't be better.
Dan: No big deal.
Dana: What's goin' on?
Dan: Well let's see:
Casey: The building had to be evacuated last night because a group of God-fearing people said they didn't like Denny Denton's impression of the Son of God. Why? Because Denny Denton does him with a lisp.
Dan: My girlfriend, whom I've grown quite fond of, is thinking about going back to her husband, but that's just 'cause he treats her bad.
Casey: The only thing in Jeremy's life that makes him happy right now is Natalie, so he's decided this'd be a good time get rid of Natalie.
Dan: The network's decided this is a good time to show Dana who's boss and unless you do something and lickity split, his name is gonna be J.J.
Casey: And, oh yeah, Isaac's lying in a bed at Columbia Pres with a stroke.
Dan: Anything else?
Casey: We got the satellite feed from Tuscon.
Dan: Then we're all set.
Casey: Good show everybody, let's eat 'em up. (Dan and Casey start to leave)
Natalie: We're women.
Casey: What?
Dana: We're women.
Dan: You're women.
Dana: Yes.
Casey: I have to say, Danny, that in both their cases, there's considerable evidence to support that theory.
Dan: Dana--
Dana: We're in charge. We're women in charge. And we're keeping it together. That's what we do.
Casey: That's what you do.
Dana: That's right.
Casey: Well we're men, we're petrified. That's what we do.
Dan: We've found that giving into our fears has made us stronger.
Casey: And not just a little pathetic.
Dan: Right, mostly stronger.
Casey: Yeah.
Dan: So if you're scared, if you're sad, if you're mad, you should tell us. It's entirely possible we'd be able to say or do something that'll make you feel better.
Casey: That's the other thing we do.
Dana: Did you say a lisp?
Casey: Yes.
Dana: Denny Denton was doing Jesus with a lisp?
Casey: Yes.
Dana: And that's why somebody tried to blow us up?
Casey: Yes.
Dana: I still hate you, you know.
Casey: Yes.
Dana: Isaac had a stroke, and somebody tried to blow up the building. We're not having our best week, are we?
Casey: No. But there's some good news coming in eleven seconds, though.
Dana: Good news?
Casey: Yeah.
Dana: What?
Casey: Ready?
Man VO: Three minutes to air. First team in the studio please.
Casey: Have a good show. (Dan and Casey exit)

Dana: Hang in there with this, Natalie. (They leave the office and walk through the News Room)
Natalie: Jeremy?
Dana: The network. I'll tell 'em I can use Sally's help but I'm gonna run my show and J.J. can take a seat in the bleachers.
Natalie: Whatever you need.
Dana: I need you. And I need Isaac back. And I need people to stop trying to blowup the building.
Natalie: You got me.
Dana: That's a start.
Natalie: Let's go! Two minutes! Let's eat 'em up! Isaac's watching tonight.
Dana: And I think you're absolutely right about Jeremy, by the way.
Natalie: Refusing to accept the break-up?
Dana: Do not accept it. It is not recognized. It is not valid.
Natalie: I agree. (They enter the Control Room)
Dave: Roll VTR. 60 seconds live.
Chris: Stand by 2, 2A, 4 and 5.
Will: Loading F/X 5.
Chris: F/X 5 is loaded.
Will: No it's not.
Chris: It's loaded.
Will: 'Cause I just loaded it now.
Dave: I'll kill you both with my hands.

Alyson: You're all set. Have a good show.
Dan: Thank you Alyson.
Casey: Alyson?
Alyson: Yes?
Casey: Don't stand too close to this wall. It's not real. In fact, everybody listen up! The metallurgy, the structural wiring, the glass... I know we've come to think of this place as home, but it's a shooting gallery. If you hear ticking, run for your lives. Okay, good show.
Dave: 30 seconds live.
Natalie: I'd just like to confirm for everybody that I am Jeremy's girlfriend.
Jeremy: Natalie--
Natalie: I am his girlfriend and he's seen me naked many times.
Jeremy: Natalie--
Natalie: Sometimes I do a little dance. (Will turns to look.)
Jeremy: Eyes front, mister.
Dave: In ten.
Casey: Dan?
Dan: Yeah?
Casey: I just wanted to say that if anything terrible ever had to happen to one of us, I'd want it to be you.
Dan: Thanks.
Dave: In three, two--
Dan: Good evening, from New York City I'm Dan Rydell alongside Casey McCall. Those stories plus, an Avalanche in Colorado, Lightening in Tampa Bay and Warriors in the Golden State.
Casey: We've got the Suns moving in Phoenix and Hurricanes in Miami but guess what? Pluto's still a planet. All that comin' up after this. You're watching Sports Night on CSC, so stick around.


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Tags: pluto, rebecca, season 1, unrecognized break-up
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